Dear Doctor Google

First and foremost, I always wanted to start blogging again but since I felt the need to find money online more than 6 months ago, I never really had the chance to start again. You might ask, "Why now?" The answer is simple - I was infected with the Mumps virus last week and my online employer told me to take the week off. Just imagine the joy that I had - one week off (unpaid, sadly) after more or less half a year. It's like summer break after a hell of a semester, only better.

But that's not the point. I am the Google guy! Yeah - I think of something, I 'google' it. I need something, I 'google' it. I want to know something, I 'google' it. Hell, I think my daily Google visits account for around 10% of their 24 hour hits. Yeah, I am pretty boastful.

Anyways, I felt some "stuff" before the actual parotid gland swelling symptom that is generally associated with mumps. And of course kids, what do you think did I do? I googled it! And alas, my superior skills delivered me to this page that actually told me that I might have AIDS.

Now your master Googler typed "symptoms of aids" on google and I found this Mayoclinic webpage that gave me a list of AIDS symptoms. And I was like, "Uh oh."

Headaches, swollen lymph nodes, fever, diarrhea, shortness of breath. Oh my. Oh my. Now my mind raced, "Was there someone who secretly pricked me with an infected needle on my back while I was walking the downtown streets of Bacolod?" "Did someone with AIDS cough when I had an open wound? (of course, it's damn near impossible to be infected this way)" "What did I do??".

Of course I am not promiscuous or anything like that. So I tried to calm myself down. Then after a few more minutes with Google, I found several more deadly diseases that I might have had - Throat Cancer, Tetanus, Dengue, etc.

I am pretty gullible. Tell me that there is such a thing as a talking turtle and I will AT LEAST 10% believe you even if all of the little logic that I have will tell me that it is impossible (is it?). So even if I somehow convinced myself that Google is not a doctor and that I am stupid and crazy, I am still all crapped out about it.

Now I am not telling you that those sites aren't reliable or they don't give facts. They actually do! Problem is, only people who have worked their asses of studying medicine can actually give us conclusive answers. I have an undergraduate degree in Psychology and in our Abnormal Psychology class, we were warned at the start of that semester that we should NEVER, I repeat (since the professor REALLY stressed it out), NEVER self diagnose. Further along in class, we were taught about the concept of "differential diagnosis" wherein tons of diseases out there have practically the same symptoms. It will take a specialist or an experienced professional to tell you which sickness or disease you actually have. Thus the term, "medical opinion". Even those nutters aren't always 100% sure about their diagnosis.

So now, the lesson is, don't be a nut job. Google is not a doctor. And if you're not a doctor, that usually means 'you're not a doctor' so don't be stupid like me and Google "what disease+coughing and sore throat". You'll just end up having Meningitis.

And oh by the way, I'm ok now. Not that you care really. And I am back to work on Monday. Sad.

Thanks for dropping by!


ALTASHHETH